peace

Verse

I'm nobody's favorite mistake

I've got to get rid of the sickening weight

I'm too loud for love, I'm too much for company

They don't like my full version, only short listed get in

I feel everything so deeply, got a warrior in me

Every room I walk in turns into anxiety

Looks like it's the cause but I'm not diagnosed

You wonder why my ton of voice is overly exposed

Refren

I'm that wave that breaks the harbor

Lost prayer in the monastery

I wanted to get lost in your echos

But your church didn't pray for me

I wish I had the power to reach the mountains

Somewhere behind the wolf's and trees

Where I could run away from the sentence

"I'm sorry you're just too much for me"

And that's what you say to me

It's what everyone does ..

Verse 2

I trace the cracks inside the silence,

Like stained glass falling through my heart

Can you feel my words are closer

To the place you've left behind?

I tried to learn your language,

But my voice kept turning into smoke

And every door I saw wild open

Was closing for me, letting me go

Refren

I'm that wave that breaks the harbor

Lost prayer in the monastery

I wanted to get lost in your echos

But your church didn't pray for me

I wish I had the power to reach the mountains

Somewhere behind the wolf's and trees

Where I could run away from the sentence

"I'm sorry you're just too much for me"

And that's what you say to me

It's what you say to me..

Bridge 

I tried to learn your language,

but my voice kept turning into smoke,

and every door I saw wide open

was a painful lesson in letting me go...

If I tore out all my thunder,

would you finally call it peace?

If I push you a little bit harder,

Would you get out of your comfort zone to finally see me?

Or do you only love the silence

when it’s easier to leave?

I’ve been burning sages in slow prophecy,

a sign no one wants to see,

half a ghost, half a version I used to be,

Am I just too loud for your reality,

But very dangerous for your peace...

For your peace

'Run and hide'

Verse 1

I must be lost somewhere in the night 

Begging for a place to sleep

Calling all of the angels with my power 

To show me who's the devil

Dressed like the sheep 

I've got a secret to keep

But you have to leave

REFREN 

Staaay safe however far you are 

And staaay distant like the earth from the stars

I don't want your fake love, tonight

You never meant forever cause you said goodbye 

I was there when you needed me, now you run and hide

And that's not a friend, if he ain't by my side

Verse 2

I must have been blind to the signs

Collapsing so slow but you didn't see

Looks like sixteen years didn't matter at all

But some friendships don't grow old

They just run out cold

You're just a sold out soul

I've got myself to keep

Up from the ground where u left me

REFREN 

Staaay safe however far you are 

And staaay distant like the earth from the stars

I don't want your fake love, tonight

You never meant forever cause you said goodbye 

I was there when you needed me, now you run and hide

And that's not a friend, if he ain't by my side

 Bridge 

I was miserable for past 3 years 

And I've tried to talk it over 

But my words were never enough 

For a little narcissistic devil

Dressed in innocence and dressed in lies

Killing my love before it naturally dies

You made me question what was real

You made me beg for what I gave

And every time I tried to save us

You dug another fucking grave

REFREN 

Staaay safe however far you are 

And staaay distant like the earth from the stars

I don't want your fake love, tonight

You never meant forever cause you said goodbye 

I was there when you needed me, now you run and hide

And that's not a friend, if he ain't by my side

Maybe friendship was just

Just in my head in my head 

In 

My

Heaaaad

Mean?

Refren 

Ring on, ring off, you keep bumming me out 

I try to phone but you never reach out

Is it a phase, or you're tearing me down?

Am I too small, too lost, for your crown?

Sent a message, thumbs up, thumbs down

No word from you, just a little silent “seen”

I wanted grown-up talk, a heart-to-heart scene

But honey… you’re just cruel, why you gotta be so mean?

Why?

You gotta be so, mean..

I've been thinking, I've been thinking about you 

And you've been not giving, not giving a shit 

Is there something you'd like to respond to?

Cause I've been writing all alone in here

I've been dying from the same hurt, not that you asked

It metastasizes through my brain and my heart collapsed

Why do you always drift away when shit gets real?

How can friendship heal if you don't own your deal?

Refren 

Ring on, ring off, you keep bumming me out 

I try to phone but you never reach out

Is it just a phase, or you're tearing me down?

Am I too small, too lost, for your crown?

Sent a message, thumbs up, thumbs down

No word from you, just a little silent “seen”

I wanted grown-up talk, a heart-to-heart scene

But honey… you’re just cruel, why are you so mean to me?

Why you gotta be so mean, to me?

You're so fucking cruel and cold 

Bridge:

Cause the bridge you’ve been burning, I’ve been building sixteen years

And yes, I’ve been learning new ways to face my fears

Yes, I’ve been digging through the dirt with my therapist

Approaching so down to earth but toxicity is what you manifest

All this, just to tell you I won’t fade into the mist

But you're so blind when I try to co exist

Just send a piece of hope, a sign that I’m not alone

They say the real ones are the home, the anchor and the flame

So here I am, still standing, calling your name

Asking you, like a friend indeed…

Like someone who's getting cold in here...

Searching , bleeding, wondering...

Why, why you gotta be so mean?

After all this time, when you look at me now,

Was I always just the joke at your party somehow?

After everything we were, every word, every scar,

Was I nothing but a trashy memory like a broken car?

Something ugly, so fucking small you could just erase,

Tell me, was I ever real, or just filling up a space?

I keep wondering, can you finally be honest like a friend with me…

Can you tell me to my face?

Why you gotta be so mean?

...

Ljudi čestitaju rođenja i svadbe, jer to su čiste priče sa krajem koji se može uokviriti i podeliti, priče sa kojima se većina može povezati; društvene mreže služe samo za lepe vesti, lica nose samo osmehe, a suza je nešto zlobno, nešto što se krije kao pauk na zidu, sprema se da se spusti , ali ne sme u pogrešnom društvu nikako da padne, to je nešto što ne smeš da pokažeš. Smej se. Usiljeno. Veštački. Lutkarski. Smej se kad ti se plače dok ne potoneš i umreš. Niko ne čestita preživljavanje, tu prljavu, tihu disciplinu disanja, gledanje u mirnom vazduhu, disanje kroz smog; niko ne broji noći koje si progutao kao kaznu, ni jutra u kojima si ustajao kao dokaz da te još nisu slomili. Nema ceremonije za to što si ostao živ dok su ti skidali sloj po sloj, i možda je baš zato tvoja pobeda nalik zločinu bez svedoka, postoji samo u tebi, mračna, tvrdoglava i neuništiva. Sada stani pred svoje ogledalo. Pogledaj ga. Pogledaj pravo u njega, pogledaj u krvave stakliće. Sve razbijeno i sve celo je tvoje. Ponosi se time. To je uspeh. Neka tvoje oči prežive, neka se tvoje lice pokrene u osmeh koji nije za svet. Nasmej se. Jer si još uvek svoj i još uvek si ovde, . I čestitam ti.

darK ARmA

You watch me bleeding, you captured my fall 

Your feedback is saying nothing at all

You fantasize about death to all

But then collapsed, karma claps back.

You're always in your victim card look

Reading my name misspelled in your book

I don't need to lift a finger not even a curse,

Cause you just did the magic in reverse.

I learned those tricks and I learned your tone

The pattern of constant need to be alone 

I know my mind's in a right place

But is it yours?

Every nerve I lost was at my cost 

Every tear I cried was reborn in light 

And I don't wish you hell, but oh well 

Don't  crawl back to the excuses that you sell

You burned my name in the back

Now your newbies played in same cheap act

I have anxiety and that's a fact 

But I never ever blamed on your ass, correct?

You used to laugh hard when I was low

Now you become a meme, enjoy the show

And your past friends had words not so nice

About you, and it came to me as a surprise 

Cause you're so... Nice

I guess the student now fucked up the master 

Imagine your low moves, now look who's faster

And I'm not bitter I'm more then fine

Don't forget to spread rumors 'bout me sometime

Who's sleeping bad and feeling needy,huh?

Who's getting meds and feeling fucked in the ass?

Tell me, who's now collecting empathy in a suicide spree?

I can give you a hint it's not me, honey

You used all of my quality characteristics

Now I'll go silently but fully ballistic

To ask you, am I now the drama babe?

Are you sure it's me who can't be saved?

Go and rain on someone else's parade 

Looks like you became the ghost 

Dont go in pessimism cause you'll be lost

Where justice won't listen to your 'please'

And honey, karma's got you bottoming on your knees 

Funeral Arraignments/Don't You Know

I didn't say how much I've missed you

It went dark, my day wasn't blissful 

I didn't write for several weeks then 

But I've never felt more alone in my life

Do you know?

It was near Christmas, rainbow lights 

My tears on top of the tree was in perfect sight 

I wanted to celebrate that your new engagement 

But I was planning my funeral arraignments

Don't you know?

I didn't say I trust you more then anyone,you know?

Even if you're childish and free of fucks to give

I didn't write for years about you, now in these night hours 

I want to be there to catch the wedding flowers

And read my poem at the ceremony 

I've lived my worst day counting to end

While you flourish and bloomed like a love bird 

I didn't have the heart to press the send

It wasn't my attention to cloud your joy with my hurt

So turned my back and saved as draft 

It was a cold december and half of January 

And in small texts i've tried to keep my grief hidden

Then you walked into the forever, I know, scary 

If I say honestly sorry, will I still be forgiven,

For my selfishness?

I didn't say how your laughter makes my day

Seemingly holds me together and sane

When I lived in pain, you showed me other side 

From highschool until now I'll always need you around 

Don't you know?

It's only a decade and a half since we've met

I should've been a better friend, a better person 

I'm sorry my heart was trembling and you were thinking about your engagement 

While I was crying my eyes out, planning funeral arraignments.

You should know 

Who says only silence scream so loud?

Cause I support you always even from a far in the crowd 

When the world is gray your laughter is a sunny day

And you should know, infinitive and more

You have a friend in my hand to hold 

Tu veux un mort

Je suis le plus triste.

Je suis le plus seul

Ja suis le plus malade

E mon couer est solitude

Ma vie est belle comme la souffrance

Mon bonheur danse avec la tristesse

tout dans le monde tout dans un cercle

mais mon plus grand obstacle est

Refren

Tu veux ma mort

Tu veux ma mort

tu veux tout de moi,

Tu veux mon désespoir,

Tu veux ma souffrance

Tu veux ma mort

Mais moi, je veux cette belle vie

Je suis un homme cassé

Ton cœur est ici, mais ton esprit brasse

Je reste seul à ma place

Le temps passe et je me lasse

Ma vie est belle comme la souffrance

Mon bonheur danse avec la tristesse

tout dans le monde tout dans un cercle

mais mon plus grand obstacle est

Refren

Tu veux ma mort

Tu veux ma mort

tu veux tout de moi,

Tu veux mon désespoir,

Tu veux ma souffrance

Tu veux ma mort

Mais moi, je veux cette belle vie

Bridge:

Dans mes veines, ton décor

Tu veux ma douleur, mon effort

Mais moi je veux la vie plus fort

Tu veux me voir seul, défunt, allongé seul dans un cercueil. 

Dans un cercueil. 

Dans un cercueil.

 Dans un cercueil.

Tu veux ma mort.