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Ljudi čestitaju rođenja i svadbe, jer to su čiste priče sa krajem koji se može uokviriti i podeliti, priče sa kojima se većina može povezati; društvene mreže služe samo za lepe vesti, lica nose samo osmehe, a suza je nešto zlobno, nešto što se krije kao pauk na zidu, sprema se da se spusti , ali ne sme u pogrešnom društvu nikako da padne, to je nešto što ne smeš da pokažeš. Smej se. Usiljeno. Veštački. Lutkarski. Smej se kad ti se plače dok ne potoneš i umreš. Niko ne čestita preživljavanje, tu prljavu, tihu disciplinu disanja, gledanje u mirnom vazduhu, disanje kroz smog; niko ne broji noći koje si progutao kao kaznu, ni jutra u kojima si ustajao kao dokaz da te još nisu slomili. Nema ceremonije za to što si ostao živ dok su ti skidali sloj po sloj, i možda je baš zato tvoja pobeda nalik zločinu bez svedoka, postoji samo u tebi, mračna, tvrdoglava i neuništiva. Sada stani pred svoje ogledalo. Pogledaj ga. Pogledaj pravo u njega, pogledaj u krvave stakliće. Sve razbijeno i sve celo je tvoje. Ponosi se time. To je uspeh. Neka tvoje oči prežive, neka se tvoje lice pokrene u osmeh koji nije za svet. Nasmej se. Jer si još uvek svoj i još uvek si ovde, . I čestitam ti.

darK ARmA

You watch me bleeding, you captured my fall 

Your feedback is saying nothing at all

You fantasize about death to all

But then collapsed, karma claps back.

You're always in your victim card look

Reading my name misspelled in your book

I don't need to lift a finger not even a curse,

Cause you just did the magic in reverse.

I learned those tricks and I learned your tone

The pattern of constant need to be alone 

I know my mind's in a right place

But is it yours?

Every nerve I lost was at my cost 

Every tear I cried was reborn in light 

And I don't wish you hell, but oh well 

Don't  crawl back to the excuses that you sell

You burned my name in the back

Now your newbies played in same cheap act

I have anxiety and that's a fact 

But I never ever blamed on your ass, correct?

You used to laugh hard when I was low

Now you become a meme, enjoy the show

And your past friends had words not so nice

About you, and it came to me as a surprise 

Cause you're so... Nice

I guess the student now fucked up the master 

Imagine your low moves, now look who's faster

And I'm not bitter I'm more then fine

Don't forget to spread rumors 'bout me sometime

Who's sleeping bad and feeling needy,huh?

Who's getting meds and feeling fucked in the ass?

Tell me, who's now collecting empathy in a suicide spree?

I can give you a hint it's not me, honey

You used all of my quality characteristics

Now I'll go silently but fully ballistic

To ask you, am I now the drama babe?

Are you sure it's me who can't be saved?

Go and rain on someone else's parade 

Looks like you became the ghost 

Dont go in pessimism cause you'll be lost

Where justice won't listen to your 'please'

And honey, karma's got you bottoming on your knees 

Funeral Arraignments/Don't You Know

I didn't say how much I've missed you

It went dark, my day wasn't blissful 

I didn't write for several weeks then 

But I've never felt more alone in my life

Do you know?

It was near Christmas, rainbow lights 

My tears on top of the tree was in perfect sight 

I wanted to celebrate that your new engagement 

But I was planning my funeral arraignments

Don't you know?

I didn't say I trust you more then anyone,you know?

Even if you're childish and free of fucks to give

I didn't write for years about you, now in these night hours 

I want to be there to catch the wedding flowers

And read my poem at the ceremony 

I've lived my worst day counting to end

While you flourish and bloomed like a love bird 

I didn't have the heart to press the send

It wasn't my attention to cloud your joy with my hurt

So turned my back and saved as draft 

It was a cold december and half of January 

And in small texts i've tried to keep my grief hidden

Then you walked into the forever, I know, scary 

If I say honestly sorry, will I still be forgiven,

For my selfishness?

I didn't say how your laughter makes my day

Seemingly holds me together and sane

When I lived in pain, you showed me other side 

From highschool until now I'll always need you around 

Don't you know?

It's only a decade and a half since we've met

I should've been a better friend, a better person 

I'm sorry my heart was trembling and you were thinking about your engagement 

While I was crying my eyes out, planning funeral arraignments.

You should know 

Who says only silence scream so loud?

Cause I support you always even from a far in the crowd 

When the world is gray your laughter is a sunny day

And you should know, infinitive and more

You have a friend in my hand to hold 

Tu veux un mort

Je suis le plus triste.

Je suis le plus seul

Ja suis le plus malade

E mon couer est solitude

Ma vie est belle comme la souffrance

Mon bonheur danse avec la tristesse

tout dans le monde tout dans un cercle

mais mon plus grand obstacle est

Refren

Tu veux ma mort

Tu veux ma mort

tu veux tout de moi,

Tu veux mon désespoir,

Tu veux ma souffrance

Tu veux ma mort

Mais moi, je veux cette belle vie

Je suis un homme cassé

Ton cœur est ici, mais ton esprit brasse

Je reste seul à ma place

Le temps passe et je me lasse

Ma vie est belle comme la souffrance

Mon bonheur danse avec la tristesse

tout dans le monde tout dans un cercle

mais mon plus grand obstacle est

Refren

Tu veux ma mort

Tu veux ma mort

tu veux tout de moi,

Tu veux mon désespoir,

Tu veux ma souffrance

Tu veux ma mort

Mais moi, je veux cette belle vie

I, forecast

I forecast rain tomorrow 

From my eyes, it's the sorrow

I should wear umbrella

To protect myself, tomorrow

Someone will say something shallow 

And I'll be in my feelings again

I forecast wale wave of sadness 

Hurt will find me in the end

I forecast fire spreading quickly 

And burning witches at the stake 

I should always walk in number 

No matter how safe steps I take

To protect myself and others 

Cause innocent people may die

I forecast angel vanishing 

We will, but devil won't cry 

I forecast tornado clouds 

Children getting shot in head

I will never, never back down 

Cause I will die if they're dead

I forecast you won't be sure

The disease will spread in the blood 

The entire planet will be wasted 

We may not be saved, loved or found

I forecast a friend's betrayal 

It hurt like open wound from hell

But I shall not suffer if I'm not the cause 

For I can't predict what I can't prevail 

This has lead me to think I'm brave 

To say if I'm alone I'll never break 

And you can fly away from here

You weren't close when you were near

I'll write my own, and you'll write your end

And the world will turn again

through hell, alone

There ia deepness and there is me

Hopeless kingdom for you to see

Fire is for me to breathe 

Water to drawn my tears at sea

There is ice cold queen with a tale

Mermaid that cried whole night with me

She tried to understand me, but failed

You can't predict what you can't prevail 

And so the story ended and I've burned

For all the faces that gave me wrong turn 

For all the hearts I've had to bury

To keep mr alive, breathing and steady

For all the pain I've sacrificed myself 

What I've gained was only sorrow itself 

With no love lost or found inside of you 

That gave me the strength to find myself and me

The fact that I dreamed and lived alone 

The longest tournament on my own 

You only came to kiss me when i was in hell

I've got a secret but i won't tell 

Love doesn't offer me a survival rate

Got no statistics to prove to me its great

It is vicious to be the victim and to the bait

When heart is involved it gets too late 

Do you love me for me or for you,

Foe hoe i make you feel but not who i am?

This is my thesis, see, love is selfish 

To love is reckless, but to live.. that's a faith

There is life without you 

There was a life without you 

There will be another life

And in my mind I know I'm right 

For what is wrong, for what you said

For I have thoughts in my head

For how you've treated me so long 

I need to walk through hell alone 

Necessary evil

You're my necessary evil
You're my poison
And I go that extra mile
To be overdosed with
Light in your eyes
And dark in your heart
I need you like air
When you don't even care
That's when I want you
The most
I want the terror
The worst and baddest
The way that left
Turn me me on even more
I am your angel and devil
The love and the whore
I provide many colours
That you adore
Still push me away
But I want to go further
The deeper then ocean
Just to connect spots
In your mind maze
Where I found myself
Looking for something
So powerful only God understands
Open the gate
Cause I lost the key
The moment you left
And set yourself free
I was so devistated
By little time I had
To show what youve tougt
Was buried in sand
I tried but you refused
Touch of my hand
I still.picture in my.mind
The way that you stand
And shine as stars
But still so dark
I spoke to ghosts
And found out spark
That needed the most
I could've been there
Where you draw the line
Instead I was scared
To cross and survive
Even if I live
Doesn't mean I survived
The way that you look me
When you left that night
You're my necessary evil
And greatest gift
It could get tough
To love you again
But Loving you was like
Begging of the end
I started and still
Have zero regrets
Cause moments in time
Won't freeze if you let
Them go.and beacome.si free
It's scaring to know
I'm distant memory
I get in some Forrest
I got of the cliff
My passion remains
My love is real
My body unfolded
My desire if unfiltered
Waiting for you
To make final stop
On your way to..
A place where we used to meet
Where we had peace and Harmony
And love
That's only a word?,
Maybe to some
Who didn't felt it so close
To the meaning of it
And sometimes I cry
Cause I learned that life
Will not ask me why
And still gonna get me
What I deserved
Even if I didn't want to get hurt
My intentions are honest
I wanna get poisoned
Cause I need it like air
Even tho you don't care
I'm not asking for much
I'm.not praying for stars
I'm not fucking with truth
When I say who we are
I got suspended from place
Where I wanted to chase
Colours and forms
Words and actions
Rainbows and rains
Love and pain
That's how I painted
Picture in my mind
Where I'm broken
Still haven't cried enough
Still waiting for myself to fall
In final destination
And say I don't care at all
But it's hard for heart
to.reach.blank space
When it was taught
For a happy place
And you know that too
But you still had the bullets
And you shoot tight into
Didn't miss my soul
I don't regret even that
Cause I realized what I met
Someone special worth my time
Who know how to fuck
With body and mind